On a Lesson to be Learnt ...

I wrote this article in 2002 for the Kuan Yin Contemplative Order’s (KYCO) newsletter. As a tribute to my beloved mother who has passed on in 2005, I would like to share it with all who knew her:

“I know that this temple will heal me”. Those were the first words my mother said to Tony Wong Sifu in mid-1979, when I brought her to Sifu’s small upstairs office in Graphic Press. Mrs. Cheah, was fondly known as “Cheah’s Mother” or just “Auntie”, had a history of severe arthritis of her legs since her late 30’s and has been to numerous places both clinical and spiritual for cures. She often suffered unbearable pain, and at times silently in tears.

In those days, there were a handful of devotees in KYCO and she knew them all, even to this day. However, Wong Sifu, in his own words admitted that at the first encounter with her, he was completely lost and had no idea whatsoever of how to treat her ailment. He couldn’t touch her due to the pain, so he prayed to Niang and he received the message to massage her legs. So my mother was helped onto a seat and when Wong Sifu began to massage her legs, she drifted into a deep sleep. The amazing thing was that under ordinary circumstances she would have cried out in pain even when the massaging pressure was gentle. But she didn’t and Wong Sifu continued with increasing pressure for about 10 minutes and meanwhile, she even snored! As I could remember, when we took her home after the treatment she was much relieved for the first time in many years.

Then upon her request, my brother Hock and I took turns to bring her to the centre (it was called KYCO shortly after) at least once a week (Tuesday or Thursday) for several months. There was one occasion she told Wong Sifu that she was very sad because she had not been able to kneel for many years, even to express her filialness when her parents died. Wong Sifu encouraged her to pray and continued to treat her. One evening thereafter, while sitting the mudra came and she knelt for a full 15 minutes! As tears rolled down her eyes and weeping, she clasped her hands and thanked Niang with all her heart for giving her an opportunity to kneel to pay her respects.

According to Wong Sifu, this incident was an inspiration for him as well as for all of us to believe in the compassion of Niang. Subsequently, my mother visited KYCO often and gradually as she grew older; her visits were reduced to the main festivals. Today, at 90 years old, she could still walk with the help of a walking stick. She insists that it was in KYCO that she first learnt to chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” and she does it every morning and evening without fail. She often tells me that daily, she dedicates all her prayers to each and everyone she knows and who have touched her life in some way or other.

How selfless ...

On Giving & Receiving

There is a distinct difference between “giving and taking” and “giving and receiving”. Giving and taking signifies an exchange, whereas giving and receiving promotes a natural flow of goodness.

It is not unusual that many want to give as little as possible and get as much as they can. For example, in a relationship of two; if you want to give a little and get a lot, the chances are you would end up with nothing. If one party takes more then the other, it is inevitable that the relationship will collapse sooner or later. For harmony and fulfillment to develop one should start by practicing unconditional giving. Since the truth is that we get as much as we give, in our lives, whether it relates to our careers, relationships or spiritual pursuits, we have to make some sacrifices. We have to give a part of us in exchange for what we shall receive.

I know of a friend, single in her early 40’s who has this idea that nobody will care for her in her old age and she goes to the extent of soliciting God’s help to accumulate as much material wealth as possible before then. So, she takes more than her share of anything she can lay her hands on (if offered) and hardly gives. As a result, she has few friends who hardly give her gifts, remember her birthdays, or include her in any of the social events organized. When she moved on to another job, none of her colleagues in the ex-company bothered to find out when her last working day was or gave her a farewell. We often wondered whether she’s aware that there is a more joyous side of life. How sad …

It is the natural law that says if one gives more than one takes, one will receive more than one expects. In heedless taking, the mind dwells intensively on the delusion of greed, desire and selfishness; and there is little or no room for the feeling of joy in “giving and receiving” to flourish.